Coming Home Read online

  He knew she would miss her friends in Australia, and that she had made some genuine bonds with the people of Wallaby Creek – but he hadn’t realised that leaving them would have such a massive effect on her. Jim knew that she would soon bounce back, though. He was sure that once Anna was amongst those who had loved her, and been her friends for her entire life, she would soon be her usual self.

  But again, they travelled from the airport in silence, just as they had travelled to it, and when he finally pulled up by the green in front of her house, she barely even said goodbye as she scrambled out of the car and through the front door. He waved to her parents as he headed across to the pub, and was glad to be received with genuine warmth and love, with a huge hug from his mum, who spent the rest of the evening fussing over him. He couldn’t stop the thought in the back of his head nagging at him that maybe he should have said something, done something - but what?

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Mum, there is no point you getting worked up about it. The beer delivery will get here when it gets here,’ Jim said, exasperated by his mum’s faffing around. ‘If it makes you feel any better, I’ll give the brewery a ring now.’ He snatched up the phone receiver.

  ‘Don’t you waggle that phone at me, young man,’ Margaret snapped, as if he were still a little boy. ‘I was helping your dad run this place long before you were born. Don’t you take out your frustration that Anna hasn’t called since you got back on me!’

  The pinprick of guilt this inflicted wasn’t enough to calm Jim down, though. ‘Just because I’m not jumping through your hoop and doing everything you say, doesn’t mean I’m taking anything out on anyone. Okay, so Anna ran off as fast as a cheetah as soon as we got back from Australia, and the only time I’ve seen hide nor hair of her in the last few weeks has been when I’ve looked through the old photo album,’ he paused briefly to take a breath.

  ‘That’s right, love, breathe,’ his mum chuckled, suddenly all her anger gone when she saw the pain her son was in. ‘She’ll come round soon enough. You mark my words, Jim,’ she said reassuringly. ‘Now, I’ll ring the brewery. They don’t need an earful from you, the mood you’re in. You go and open up.’

  Jim nodded silently, and went to unbolt the doors. A cyclist rode by and smiled a greeting. Jim waved back and headed back into the bar. He put away the glasses in the washer from the night before, and stooped to pick up a morsel of chicken skin the cleaning lady must have missed from the floor in the restaurant.

  Everything was ready for the day ahead, but with every day he didn’t see Anna, all of it seemed more and more pointless. He knew he had to do something, but old habits were hard to break and he had always vowed to let Anna take the lead on things when they were this important. But he just didn’t know where to start. He was overjoyed when a possible answer to his prayers walked through the door to the lounge bar of the Queen’s Head later that afternoon.

  ‘Carrie! How wonderful to see you. We thought we’d lost you permanently to the big smoke!’ he exclaimed.

  ‘I got homesick, Jim. It’s good to see you too.’ She reached across the bar to give him a hug. He kissed her warmly on the forehead.

  ‘Well, you are a sight for sore eyes, young lady, and I know everyone will be pleased you are back. But, your place is still rented out, right?’

  ‘Yes it is. I’m staying at Myra’s for a bit. We’re trying to work something out as I’m back for good. I finally have the funding we need to get started on restoring the old Priory!’ she said excitedly, though it was clear to Jim that there was something else, something more painful that had brought her home, that she wasn’t talking about.

  ‘I just came back from Australia, with Anna. She’ll be pleased to know you are around, Carrie. She’s not been seen since we got back. I’m worried sick, but I have no idea what I can do to help her. She’s not returning my calls, and she barely spoke a word to me as we came back. It’s as if she changed overnight. But sorry, didn’t mean to worry you,’ he said, as he took in the pretty young woman’s now stricken face. ‘I’m sure she was just tired and wanted to get home or something.’

  ‘Myra said she was coming back. I was just popping in today to see if your mum had any more news – but clearly, here you are, so I’ll head over there straight away. I can’t wait to see her. Glad you are back safely and I hope we can catch up properly later on? I’ll let you know how she is, I promise,’ Carrie said hurriedly.

  Jim knew that his trying to make light of his concerns hadn’t fooled the astute, young woman – she didn’t ever miss much. ‘Thanks, Carrie. I’d appreciate that. Even if she doesn’t want to see me, I just want to know she is okay. And if you remember anything we can do to help with the Priory Project, just let me know. You know what it means to both Mum and me.’

  The Priory was a place where Jim had spent a lot of time as a boy, with his family. Dad had even proposed to Mum there, many years ago. He was glad to know that Carrie’s childhood dream now stood a real chance of coming true. She’d had a tough time of it, with her parents always absent from her life, and the death of her beloved grandmother not long ago. She deserved a break.

  As Anna’s best friend, he knew Carrie pretty well, but Jim also knew that even if Anna never spoke to him again, that Carrie would still remain his friend, too. Castle Cluny was a place that was simply too small to hold grudges for long, and most people didn’t take umbrage with you on behalf of anyone else.

  ********

  Anna had been back for three days, but she was still wearing the same jeans, shorts, and t-shirt she had been wearing when she and Jim set off from Wallaby Creek. She had barely left her bedroom, and, though her parents were clearly pleased she was home, she knew that they were now even more worried about her than they had ever been while she was away. She simply wasn’t their bubbly and bright little girl any more. She had blown everything with Jim, and she couldn’t bring herself to even think about what had happened with Tom – let alone tell anyone else about it. She knew she needed to, had to if she was ever going to get past it - but it was all just too frightening and too real right now to face up to it.

  When the door eased open, she expected her mum’s worried voice, asking if she wanted a cup of tea – but was stunned to see the bright red curls of her best friend standing there. As Carrie crossed the room to sit by her on the bed, Anna simply couldn’t hold all of the emotions and pain inside any more, and flung herself into her arms, sobbing inconsolably.

  Carrie had lived a turbulent life. She knew it was best to let that kind of emotion just run its course, and even though Anna was trying desperately to explain herself through all the sobs, Carrie just held her, soothing her with gentle words and supportive caresses. As the sobs began to subside, and Anna started to hiccup, Carrie just passed her a glass of water and continued to hold her hand. She sat and waited patiently for Anna to calm down.

  ‘Okay, now can you tell me all that again so I can understand it?’ Carrie said, smiling encouragingly.

  ‘Oh Carrie, I have been such an idiot. I have made such a mess of everything - as always. I thought I could do it. That I could cope alone - and that I would prove to everyone that I am not just some little cutesy doll. But in the end, as everyone expected from the start, I had to be rescued. I didn’t prove a damned thing.’

  ‘Anna, from what Jim said, you didn’t need rescuing, you were doing fine. You have been travelling for three years. You’ve kept yourself alive. You didn’t get into any trouble, and you made it home in one piece. In what world did you not prove that you could take care of yourself?’

  Anna stared at her friend, completely confused. She had never thought about her constant traipsing from one crisis to the next as what coping was all about. Carrie was right, she had never asked for help. Despite patches of poverty, she’d paid for her own flight home, and though Jim had been there, he hadn’t rescued her – from Tom or from her desperate lurching from here to there. He’d just waited until she was ready to go.

&nb
sp; But, it didn’t change the fact that for all her coping and dealing with things, she had failed at the last hurdle. She really had needed saving that night, and where had her knight in shining armour been then? Down on the ruddy beach giving her space, that’s where!

  ‘Carrie, I made such a fool of myself. There was this guy, and he was so hot – but there was something that just wasn’t right and when Jim came out it made it so much clearer that he wasn’t right. But he was there, on that last night – he tried to force me. I didn’t want to, but he was just too strong, and Jim wasn’t there. He didn’t come back. I did need saving, and he wasn’t there!’ Anna wasn’t entirely sure, in that moment, which hurt more.

  ‘Oh, Anna! Darling Anna, you poor thing. Why ever didn’t you say anything to anyone before now? You’ve been nursing this all alone, haven’t you? You’ve got so used to dealing with it all alone, that even when there are others around to help you, you forgot to ask them for help. It doesn’t make us weak needing others, you know, sweetie.’

  ‘Who could I tell? I couldn’t break Daphne’s heart. Jim would have gone mental. I just wanted to come home and forget it ever happened. But I can’t seem to block it out.’

  ‘You are home now. He will never touch you again. I think you really need to talk with Jim, honey; he needs to know. He thinks he did something wrong. He’s worried sick. I mean, he tried to hide it – but the love that boy has for you could light three counties,’ Carrie said, rubbing her friend’s back as she gulped at the water.

  ‘Carrie, I’m just his little sister, though he’d break Tom in two if he knew. But not because he is in love with me still. He made that pretty clear. He doesn’t feel enough for me to even try and put up a fight.’

  ‘Anna, you stubborn and ridiculous girl! Jim, not in love with you? Good golly, he has been smitten from the first day he met you. He will never love anyone else. How are you the only person who doesn’t know that? He’s been giving you the space you need to work out what it is that you want. Now, by the sound of it, you do know that, even if you aren’t admitting it to yourself, so what are you going to do about it?’

  ‘But what about the thing with Tom, how do either of us get past that?’

  ‘You just will. Love can patch up all sorts of crap if you just let it, Anna.’

  Carrie had always been the adult in their little trio of friends; she’d had to grow up pretty fast, and, as always, her advice was sound. Anna was scared stiff that Jim would still reject her, but she knew that she would kick herself if she never gave them the chance to try. She certainly couldn’t bear the idea of watching him with anyone else, but at least she knew now that if that were to come about, she could move further away and cope.

  ‘Okay, I’ll give it a try. I’ll talk to him.’

  ‘May I suggest you have a good bath first, and find some clean clothes? You really are getting a bit ripe!’ Carrie giggled, holding her nose and waving her hand, as if to ward away the stench. Anna swatted her half-heartedly with a pillow, and jumped up to head to the bathroom.

  ‘Hang on a minute, missus, what on earth are you doing here in Castle Cluny? Aren’t you supposed to be in London finishing your degree?’ Anna said, suddenly realising that Carrie shouldn’t be anywhere near the village.

  ‘Confession time all round,’ Carrie admitted sheepishly, ‘I left ages ago. Nursing the way that they want you to do it in University just wasn’t for me. I’ve been working for an agency for a while. Like you, I kind of wanted to prove to everyone, myself included, that I could cope - that I hadn’t completely ballsed up.

  ‘But it didn’t go so well, and so I decided to come home. I had this lovely patient for a while, as an agency nurse, and he kindly left me some money when he died. I can finally start work on the Priory because of him, so I’ll always be so grateful, despite everything else that happened in London. So, I decided to come home and use it, sooner rather than later. I have no idea where to start, but I’m sure we’ll work it out!’

  Anna was sure that something had been left out of her friend’s tale, but with nothing to leverage it out of her, she decided to let it go for now. Carrie would either open up if she needed to, or it would be one of those secrets that she kept too close for her own good.

  ‘Try English Heritage or maybe the National Trust as a starting point?’ Anna suggested.

  ‘That is probably a pretty good idea – now get in that bathroom, get clean and go over to see that delicious bear of a guy - before you make the biggest mistake of your life and let him go forever!’

  Chapter Ten

  ‘Jim, love, are you decent?’ Margaret yelled through the bedroom door.

  ‘Sure, I’m just watching TV,’ Jim replied, as the door opened. Anna stood there, looking slightly shamefaced.

  ‘Hey,’ he said gently. ‘Mum, I think we’ll be okay now, thanks.’

  ‘Yell if you need anything,’ Margaret said, with a cheeky wink.

  ‘I need to apologise to you, Jim,’ Anna started tentatively.

  ‘There’s no need, you’ve done nothing wrong,’ he said.

  ‘Oh Jim, you are just too sweet for your own good. This is why this always goes so ruddy wrong every time!’ she said exasperatedly. ‘I need you to be honest with me, not always take your cue from me. You need to tell me what you want, what you need – not just make sure I always get my way!’

  ‘You call that an apology?’ he teased.

  ‘You’re right, but you are just so frustrating sometimes. I am sorry I was such a jerk to you in Australia, and when we were coming home. Something happened; I wasn’t dealing with it well.’

  ‘Tom?’ he asked perceptively.

  ‘Yes, but possibly not quite what you were thinking. It wasn’t because I was leaving him or anything, or that I didn’t know how to tell you something had happened between us, it was because of what happened. I didn’t want him – you need to know that. I have only ever loved you, and when you came out to find me, I was so sure that you were going to sweep me off my feet - and tell me to stop being so stupid, that you wanted me too, and couldn’t live without me, and that you weren’t ever going to let me run out on you ever again. Then you got there, and just waited. You always just wait!’

  ‘Wait up there, Anna. What do you mean by what happened and that you didn’t want him? Your voice caught – so did something happen?’

  Jim was astounded to find himself green with jealousy. He had so convinced himself that he didn’t mind what she did with anyone else, that as long as he was a part of her life, it was okay. He now realised that it simply wasn’t enough. She was right. If he wanted her, he should have fought for her - should have done something to show her his needs too.

  ‘I didn’t want him, but when I got in, you know on that last night? When you were down at the beach – he was there.’ Anna said cautiously.

  ‘In the bar? That late?’ Jim asked, stupidly. Anna shook her head.

  ‘No. He was upstairs, asleep on my bed.’

  ‘What the hell was he doing there?’ Jim demanded. ‘Had you arranged for him to meet you or something?’

  ‘No, I hadn’t,’ Anna protested. ‘Let me finish, this is hard enough!’

  Jim nodded, and she continued to speak, her voice quiet and low.

  ‘He started off being all cute and flirty, but I said no, and wanted him to leave – but he didn’t go.’

  Jim could feel the fury building within him. He had known that Tom was a prick, but this was so much worse than he had ever expected of the spoilt idiot.

  Anna put her hand on his arm, and he realised that he had clenched his hand into a fist. She took the fist in her tiny hand, and eased it back open.

  ‘No Jim, that won’t help you, or me. It didn’t get that far, because I screamed and it made him realise, finally, that I meant it when I said no. But I don’t want that one moment in my life to define the rest of it. I have let it have five days already, and that is too long. It wasn’t your fault - before you start on the recriminatio
ns of you shouldn’t have stayed out on the beach, or whatever. Tom would have found a way to humiliate me. He probably felt that I had been doing it to him for months – and he didn’t like hearing no.’

  ‘Anna how can you be so calm about this? I just want to get right back on a plane and go and kill the little bastard!’ Jim exploded.

  ‘Believe me, I have felt every emotion under the sun since, but Carrie made me realise that he wins if we let him – and only if we let him. We can do something about that. We can give him the disdain and lack of consideration that he deserves, or, we can let him drive a wedge into our lives and let him take them over. I don’t know about you, Jim, but I don’t want that. I want to build a life here in Castle Cluny, amongst our family and friends. I want it to be full of love and laughter – and most importantly, I want it to be full of you!’

  Anna had sounded so passionate and determined, but as she finished her speech, she suddenly dropped her head as if she was scared of his response, scared that he may reject her. Jim couldn’t believe that the pair of them could have gotten everything so wrong over the years.

  ‘Anna,’ he said, as he tilted her chin so that he could gaze deeply into her eyes. ‘You said, somewhere in all of that, that I never ask for what I want. That I just sit and wait for you to take the lead. Well, this is what I want. I want to wake up with you in this room, in this bed, every single day for the rest of our lives – well, unless we go on holiday somewhere. I want us to have a family of our own, maybe even a dog. I want you to know that you are the most loved and wanted woman in the entire world. And I want you to know that I would move heaven and earth to keep you safe.’